ode to durham

i had an elaborate idea for a little movie we could make to remember our time in durham, and then life happened. suddenly, we were moving a few days later, so i began filming clips on my phone of things i wanted to remember--places, food, the way the sun sparkles in those towering green trees. a tiny part of me is still in north carolina, especially after sage watched this with me and sighed, "mom, i just miss...everything about north carolina."

even though it's missing another twenty things i love about that place, here's my simple ode to durham...with a few added memories because this is where our family grew, and my baby learned to walk, and sagie grew up.
password: durham

Farewell, Durham from Jessica Lawler on Vimeo.

the end

i arrived in durham pregnant, hot, and completely overwhelmed. i complained about the mosquitos that infested our backyard and the lack of city buzz outside my door that i'd grown to love. our things arrived in two waves, so we essentially had to move in twice. i hadn't seen our chicago belongings for years and my tastes had changed. i'd learned we could live with very few things, and so i found myself in a house (with mice in the walls), wanting to toss everything i owned in the garbage (including the compression tights that adorned my swollen pregnant legs), throwing myself a pity party. pathetic, but it happened.

that first school term, i think both our heads were under water. and then, ta da! a new baby. joy and tears and hibernation and love and bliss and saggy, tired eyes, and body for that matter. but, somewhere in that first year, i saw the magic of durham. we got to live 59 seconds down the street from some of our very best friends. we road tripped and game nighted and late night chatted. we got involved in the duke community and in our church community. we met some really cool people, and we met some of the most generous, giving people i know.

my visions of living on ramen and months of single parenting were unfounded. i mean, there was a lot of single parenting at times, but it was doable. everyone is alive. i made a durham bucket list and  marked almost everything off that list. there is so much to do here! and so many restaurants to try (did you know durham was named america's foodiest small town?). the charm of durham and of north carolina completely grew on me, and now i'm sad to leave this place i love. 

i'll miss the cute, usually quiet downtown scene. i'll miss the plethora of fantastic bakeries. i'll miss driving up the tree-lined academy road on our way to duke each week, and i'll miss never cooking dinner on friday nights (all hail fuqua fridays, where duke caters dinner for students and their families). i'll miss all our haunts–the library, the parks, the life and science museum, duke campus, and walks in our neighborhood. i'll miss spring break and fall break and christmas break and thanksgiving break. i'll miss our little house that fills with light in the afternoons, and our backyard where rabbits live under our deck. i'll miss mint-oreo-reeses shakes from cookout, and true southern barbecue. i'll miss down-to-earth, wonderful friends, and that sweet southern drawl. and...hush puppies.

we sold our trusty honda and craigslisted like mad in anticipation for a tiny san francisco apartment. our whole life together has been in two year increments, and this move to the bay is the first time we might be sticking around for more than two years. suddenly, things are getting real! i'm looking around the room like, "can someone else be the adult around here?" they say you should leave while you're still having fun, and we've stuck to that in each of our moves. bittersweet, yes, but here's hoping our homeless summer and new beginning in san francisco will be another start to big things.

keep it dirty, durham.

graduke

in the wee hours, i got a burst of energy and decided to make a little graduation banner to celebrate nate's accomplishment. embarrassingly, i spelled graduate g-r-a-d-u-t-e. i'm cringing at myself because spelling is usually my strong point. i pulled an elementary school move (you know, where you make your wrong letter into a heart or something) and made the banner say "graduke!"
and that is what nate is now–a graduke!

we were so happy to have my parents in town for the occasion. we arrived home from beach week the night they flew in and got right to it. sage insisted we take them to mapleview farms, our favorite local creamery on a farm...with rocking chairs on a porch for seating. we hit our other favorite spots, like dames chicken and waffles, hillsborough barbecue, the sarah p. duke gardens, duke campus, and i even squeezed in some shopping with my mom. we went out for a fancy graduation dinner at nana's, and it is nate's new favorite durham spot. the molasses wheat focaccia bread and house risotto are worth going for alone.

graduation day was hot and humid. my mom is a pro at getting the masters hood just right, but poor nate was sweating it out in all his garb as we trekked across campus. we snagged great seats on the floor of cameron indoor stadium with a front row view of the incoming graduates, but with enough space for a sleeping nora in the stroller. shane battier was the commencement speaker and i was surprised at how eloquent he was, especially since it was hard to hear anything with the echoey sound system.

congratulations, nate. we're both masters now (i beat him by fours years!). 

OBX 2015

our two trips to the outer banks of north carolina with the other lds families in our program have been the highlight of our two years here. we rented a beautiful 12 bedroom home in kill devil hills this year. we drove in a rainstorm to get to OBX, but the weather turned out to be perfect every other day. the ocean? still frigid.

we ate well—two families teamed up each night to make dinner. nate grilled shish kabobs for our night and janssen made three different kinds of brownies for dessert. win-win. we also happened to be a four minute walk from the famed duck donuts. the donuts are made fresh, then dipped in whatever frosting and toppings you choose.

the boys had a golf day, the girls had an outlet shopping + lunch day, and we saw a few local things too: jockey's ridge sand dunes, the wright brothers memorial in kitty hawk, and the catch of the day at pirate's cove marina.

the best part of each day was putting all the kids to bed and having game night. we played all kinds of games, and a few rounds of greed. this year, the losers had to drink papa john's garlic "butter", jump in the pool fully-clothed, and serenade everyone with a vocal performance.

we'll miss this place!

thanks to our friend rebecca for lots of these photos

durm spring time

this city is killing it. spring time here is magic, with two weeks of insanely beautiful white and pink blossoms that morph into months of vibrant green leaves everywhere. we haven't done a single thing about our shaggy yard (rental life yo!) and then suddenly it burst into bloom and it was like someone intentionally planted a garden...with maybe lots of weeds too.

we've been picnicking in the duke gardens, flying kites, and playing outside nonstop. we went to our last durham bulls baseball game. it was $1 concession night, so it was carolina dogs, frozen custard, and popcorn for all. i've taken sage on a few little dates to see the cinderella movie and mary poppins the musical. we've been checking a few more things off on my durham bucket list, including one last visit to the north carolina museum of art park and lots of fun restaurants.

some photos from my phone...

 a rare nap for this girl. i soaked it up.

 thursday nights at oval park, where all the food trucks congregate. those locopops are the best.

 nora went to town on that hot dog and wouldn't take her baseball cap off. nate's pretty proud of his little ball fan!

 my new strategy for occupying them when i need to get something done–bowls of water and measuring cups on the deck. they make "soup" and mix things up for ages. plus, i love hearing them play together. 

 i was on a mission to find this cloud chamber art installation at the ncma art park. check!

off to preschool and so happy about the spring weather

and a glimpse of real life for good measure...

it's in the spring time when i crush on durham the most. gorgeous!

easter

nate checked NCAA championship game off his bucket list over easter weekend, with duke playing in the final four then taking the whole thing with a huge win over wisconsin! we have such gracious friends in indiana who let the boys crash in their basement and spend easter with them.

the girls participated in four egg hunts this year, which is good because on the actual morning of easter, i...forgot to do anything. i had grand plans of hiding baskets and whipping up a fantastic breakfast. but the greatest thing about little children is that they don't care! they didn't need any more trinkets or candy, so we ate cereal for breakfast and hunted the real eggs we'd dyed earlier that week (in our pajamas, because that's what i did as a kid). as is tradition, we got together with the other lds mba families for an easter brunch and egg hunt on easter sunday. 

my mom sent us darling dresses and eggs with little objects inside representing the story of what really happened on "easter". i still love that the commercial side of holidays hasn't totally invaded our life yet, and sage is so interested in all the details of why we really celebrate easter and christmas. 

easter is easily one of my favorite holidays