Leave a message at the...beep

So over the past year I have started reading a sports columnist who writes for ESPN.com. His name is Bill Simmons and I really enjoy his stuff. One of his famous habits is to actively respond to his readers mailbag and I always find myself laughing out loud while reading the Q&A. Here is one of his readers who recounts having Morgan Freeman recording his voicemail message for him, and Bill listing his top five Guest Message Recorders. Enjoy!

Q: Recently, Morgan Freeman came to my town to help celebrate the opening of one of his restaurants, Pig 'N Whistle BBQ. He came around and greeted every table and talked with each guest, and everyone was getting their picture taken with him. I had a stroke of genius, though, and had my phone out. When Mr. Freeman reached our table, I asked if he would be so kind as to record a message for me. He said yes. Now I have this on my cell: "This is actor Morgan Freeman, Barnz is away from his phone right now but leave a message and he will call you back, I hope ... I hope." Is there a better choice for voicemail and a specific person to leave it?
-- Barnz, Fayettesville, Ark.

SG [Bill Simmons, he calls himself the Sports Guy (SG)]: Nope. Not that I can think of. Although I definitely would have had him throw in a "I guess I just miss my friend" joke. Here's the rest of my Dream Guest Message top five:

2. Jack Nicholson: "This is Jack Nicholson. Bill isn't home right now. You're entitled to leave a message for him. Just know that I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain where he is, especially to someone who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said 'thank you' and went on your way. Either way, I don't give a [bleep] what you think you're entitled to!!!"

3. Al Pacino: "Hi, this is Al Pacino. I don't know where Bill is right now. But I do know this. Life is just a game of inches. I am still willing to fight and die for that inch because that is what LIVING is!!! The six inches in front of your face!!!!! Now I can't make you leave a message. You gotta do it. So wait for the beep."

4. Buffalo Bill: "This is Jame Gumb answering Bill's cell phone. Bill's not here. (Long pause.) Is this a great big fat person?"

5. Gene Hackman: "This is Gene Hackman for Bill's cell phone. There's a tradition with phone messages to not talk about the return message until you've left the initial one. I'm sure leaving a message on Bill Simmons' cell phone is beyond your wildest dreams, so let's just keep it right there. Don't worry about winning or losing with this message. If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don't care what the scoreboard says at the end of this message, in my book we're gonna be winners! All right? (Sound of a slow clap in the background.) OK? (Clapping gets louder.) Lemme hear it!!!!! (Everyone cheers, followed by a beep.)

Here is the link to the column if you want to check it out: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/090331

best of the weekend

...made homemade samoas (in bar form), because it was way more fun than buying cookies from a girl scout. thanks for the recipe carrie...

...hit up the hare krishna festival of colors with geoff + akasha + baby niece...

...unlike the other ten thousand people there, we did not throw chalk...but nate still got chalked...

...beautiful day...

...can you ride llamas? we wanted to...

...lots of people...

lessons in parenting

phone conversation at work today:

overly concerned mother: um, hi, yes, i am wondering how much money we'd get back if there is a terrorist attack on my daughter's study abroad program?

me: well, i don't really know. you'll have to talk to our accountant.

crazed, lunatic, overly concerned mother (rudely): really. you're telling me you don't have any plans set in place for a terrorist attack? what would happen to my daughter's luggage? how would she get home? would our money be returned to us? what would happen with the flights?

what i wanted to say back: lady, how do you sleep at night? your daughter is going to one of the safest english speaking countries in the world. and how does one PLAN for a terrorist attack? if you are that worried about your child, keep her in a straitjacket at home. thanks. have a nice day.

what i did say: i'll go ahead and transfer you to our accountant.

at least i know what kind of parent i DON'T want to be from this job.

tens

ten months ago (yesterday)....

we said yes


in ten more days...
we'll be even closer to this!


and in ten minutes...
i'm going to actually do my homework.

necessary

sometimes you just have to have something. you just do. period.
i had to have this book for the sake of my french obsession.
i couldn't stop walking past it at anthropologie.
plus, if you've been to anthropologie, you know how good they make everything look.
i do not regret my purchase.
maybe i'll share some secrets so you can find your inner french girl too.

the windy city

i just got back from chicago and i have lots to say.

first of all, i have accepted a job with teach for america, an organization that places college graduates in lower income, inner-city schools to help reduce the education gap across america. i have been assigned to teach pre-k (3-5-year-olds) in chicago starting in june. though i thought editing was my calling in life, i am really excited about this opportunity.
and the fact that i have a job in this wretched economy!

i've been in chi-town interviewing with different schools and principals, as well as meeting with teach for america and figuring this whole thing out. i wore my first suit ever and was sick to my stomach like never before when i was interviewing. i got to go observe a pre-k classroom and play with the kids. my heart melted right there...i wanted to take one home with me! these kids come from all walks of life -- some are homeless, some have parents in jail, some have never seen a book in their life, everything you can think of. they are thirsty for love and attention and are so sweet and innocent. when i left, they all gave me hugs and waved goodbye to "ms. jessica." anyway, i am excited for the challenge and hopefully can make an impact by getting these kids reading and kindergarten ready.

the tfa office is right across from the sears tower. so tall!

hello you. i was saving a birthday giftcard for just the right occasion. and it was the right occasion.

i forgot how cute the little houses are. i stayed just north of downtown in a quaint little neighborhood.

please keep in mind that i was freezing cold and tired, but i wanted to capture the river. every st. patrick's day, chicago dyes the river bright green. it was still a little green on my trip.

one of my favorite buildings

my last day was dedicated to house hunting. we'll be living in this area, overlooking millennium park, steps from the lake and the theater (i'm enticing you to come visit us)

possible future homes

i thought it would be easy to lug my bags around all day with me.
this is what i felt like by 2:00.

it was a great trip and got me completely excited to live here. the city is so fun! i just felt happy the whole time i was there, wandering by myself through the city and remembering our great memories from last summer. although, i forgot the cardinal chicago rule: 99% of the time, doing your hair is pointless. it's usually ruined by the wind the second you step out the door. at the least the city is living up to its name.

a blue bird day

my mom is in town for a ladies ski trip with some friends, so i got to join them on saturday at snowbird. it was a blue bird day - sunny and gorgeous! we had a great time, and it was nice to escape provo and see my mama. thanks mom!

lucky to be

you know i'm getting sick of school when the blog posts keep rolling in...

i've been listening to jason mraz while researching about moby dick. while i would not wish it on my worst enemy to read this book, i am loving jason mraz's song "lucky."

lucky i'm in lovvvvvveee with my best friend.
lucky to have been where i have been.
lucky to be coming home again.
lucky to have stayed where we have stayed.
lucky to be coming home someday.

and it's true. i feel all of these things. my uncle told nate to just wait until we've been married for twenty years--it gets really good. but, even after ten months, it just gets better and better.

we are lucky. to be in love. to get to come home to a home every day. to have been through many hard, awful, unimaginable, amazing, happy, growing experiences by ourselves and together. so, just feel lucky.

lucky i'm in love with him

lucky to do this with my brother. really lucky

lucky to have memories

lucky to be graduating soon!

strawberries galore

strawberries were on sale today at my favorite market for 99 CENTS. i know right? i got really excited. i bought...uh...a lot. and now, i don't know what to do with them!
you can only eat so many strawberries in a day.

so, i'm asking...
any great ideas/recipes/suggestions for what to do with a heap of strawberries?

i was never a girl for tomatoes...

apparently, when i was a child, i ate tomatoes like candy out of our garden. but for years, i have avoided them. then i met nate, who could eat only tomatoes for the rest of his life and be happy. i've been eating them more and more...and we have a new favorite recipe. it is so easy and delish!

pizza-dillas

1 can fire-roasted tomatoes, drained
mozzarella cheese
6-10 fresh basil leaves
2 chicken tenderloins or one chicken breast
oregano
salt & pepper
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
oleeeeve oil
tortillas, of course

so here's how it goes: cook the chicken, then shred it with a fork. while the chicken is cooking, drizzle some olive oil in pan and cook the garlic for a minute. add the fire-roasted tomatoes and shredded chicken to the garlic and shake some oregano and s&p over it. let the mixture simmer for a couple of minutes. in another pan, lightly drizzled with olive oil, lay your tortilla down and cover it with a layer of mozzarella. add some of the tomato mixture on top, then sprinkle basil over that, laying another tortilla on top. cook. flip. cook. lunch/snack/dinner in 10 minutes.

i promise this will please your taste buds...even if tomatoes aren't your thing. yum!

parents for a weekend

we packed our bags and headed to my cousin's house this weekend to babysit her cute, sweet, funny, energetic kids. we made cookies, played outside, colored, played inside, changed diapers, played simon says, read stories, and caught up on all the kid movies we've missed in the past couple of years...

nate was introduced to his first animated barbie experience...

i discovered the costco microwavable pot roast... hello? best idea ever!

and we really liked this one...

this week